1st grade

i have been saying for a few weeks now that i am not prepared for 1st grade. amelia will be gone all day. all day! she won’t be here for errand running, which will honestly make it easier. she won’t be here at lunch time, which means preparing less food and wiping one less messy face, though she doesn’t eat too much and she’s a pretty neat eater. but i am going to miss her.

last night at church we had a few minutes together, just she and i. we were walking and holding hands, swinging our arms. i squeezed her hand a little, looked down at her, and had a tear in my eye. “what?”, she said. “i am not ready for first grade,” i said, “i am going to miss you.” she smiled, “i’ll be back.” “i know you will,” i told her, “but you won’t be home for lunch. it will be just me and the stinky boys.” she smiled again, “well, you can just put them in their room if they are having too much gas.” oh, a little bit of joy, and a little bit of sadness.

this morning she was up early. she ate breakfast while i packed her backpack. she put on her dress and fancy shoes(ones that would be reserved for lunch at grammy’s or something special at church). we did her hair, part up, part down, and added two yellow ribbons. we took lots of pictures, with daddy, with me, with the boys. she put on her backpack and told us it was too heavy, but just a little bit. she and i headed for the van.

we prayed on our way to school. i thanked Jesus for the gorgeous weather(it’s 66 and sunny) He has given us for the first day of 1st grade. i asked Him to help amelia have fun. to help her enjoy the friends she knows and to get to know new ones. i asked Him to help her to remember to behave well and to obey her teacher. and i asked Him to help her remember that she belongs to Him. right as i was saying amen, we pulled up to school. it was busy!

we made our way to the playground where all of the kids(and some parents) were lining up, waiting to head inside to their new classrooms. we found ‘our line’ and made it to the end. right in front of us was a boy from amelia’s kindergarten class. they were both excited to see each other. on our way into the school we spotted another friend from kindergarten and once inside the classroom, another friend from church. this eased my nerves.

i know she’s fine. i know she’ll be fine. it’s just my heart is a little sad. and i am already looking forward to school ending today so she can tell me all about it.

in pictures-from just after waking up, to sitting at her 1st grade desk.


  • papa

    I remember several 1st. grade first days. Brings back lots of memories. Seems that I had my own 1st. grade first day. I actually remember my 2nd grade first day much much better. I loved the 1st. grade. I remember singing ‘America the Beautiful’ all by myself while standing by the piano as my teacher, Miss Lust, played. As I recall, at the tender age of six, I was embarrassed and proud all at the same time. Wow…6. Well, anyway, we moved from South Bend to Detroit during the summer and my 2nd. grade first day was in a different city, at a different school, where I knew no-one. I mean NO-ONE. I was alone. Utterly alone. My mother took me that morning, and introduced me to the teacher (can’t remember her name). I cried. I cried hard. The teacher let me look around the classroom and I ended up at an aquarium, with little fishes and seaweed, and I eventually calmed down. It was Clark Elementary on the East side of Detroit. I ended up flourishing at Clark. I lived in Detroit for 6 years. 6 of the happiest years of my young life.

    Well, I remember the tears and butterflies of sending our three children to 1st. grade first day. Everyone a monument…and everyone a moment to remember. I love my children. I think parenthood is something that we sort-of fall into. Somehow I don’t ever recall thinking, ‘how do I do this’…we just did it. It’s probably a God thing. Built-in. We mess up; food, diapers, discipline, schedules, how-tos and how-not tos. But we get it. And God blesses it. And all three got it…or get it. I’m feeling abit queezy as I write this. My head, and heart, are flooding with too many memories to process all at once. I’m rambling also. I guess it’s the blessing of being a dad.

    Well, as I said above, I love my kids. All three. They are all very different. Fiercely independent…and that’s a good thing. Isn’t it? We raised them to leave the nest. Then when the nest is empty it’s suddenly too quiet. Too calm. Don’t misunderstand, we are busy beyond comprehension, but that’s another story. Just not sure I really like not having my kids around. It’s different. And I love my kids. And I love my grandkids. And I am, at this very moment, reliving all of the happy/sad memories and emotions of 1st.grade first day. There may even be a tear (or two).

    Love you Kirsten, PAPA

  • Ann Moore

    Kirsten, she looks so adorable. I am feeling the bittersweet emotion all over again. So exciting! Now, if only the day were done! Maybe you can sneak by the playground at lunch 😉

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