there's a first time for everything

and one of mine came today.

i was peed on by my baby.

sounds gross to say it that way, but how else do you phrase it?

besides, it is gross.

all those years of baby-sitting and being a nanny and i never had that happen.

i get my own kids and a few days later, one of them lets loose.

thanks little guy.

i guess my time has been coming.

on being a mom last night and this morning

i got in the shower last night at 11pm. i have found it’s easier to take a shower at night while the children are sleeping vs. trying to juggle three children, a dog, breakfast, and a husband getting ready for work. while finishing showering, josh knocked on the door and peeked his head in. he was holding our daughter who had obviously been crying. i told them i was just getting ready to get out of the shower and he closed the door. i called for him asking if she had to go potty. she did. i wrapped myself in my towel so she could come in.

she was very upset. she had woken up needing ‘to go pee’, but daddy didn’t hear her on the monitor and mommy didn’t hear her because i was in the shower. once daddy finally heard her, she was into full-blown crying mode. poor little thing.

after she went potty, daddy came to carry her back to bed and tuck her in. then daddy came back to the bathroom to tell me that our daughter needed to talk with me for a minute. i threw on my jammies and knelt down by her bed. she said she was thinking about her foster mom. when i asked her what she was thinking she said, “i just remember.” i asked her if she was just remembering living there and being with her foster mom and she said yes. i told her those were good things to think about because her foster mom is a great lady who loves her very much.

i asked her if she was thinking about anything else. she said, “a question.” i asked her if she had a question for mommy and she said she did. she wondered if she could have her curtains opened a little so she could look out the window. i opened them and we looked up at the stars. i asked her if she knew who made those stars and she said Jesus. i asked her if she knew that He made families and little beautiful baby girls for daddy and mommy(josh & i) to love. i asked her if she knew that He made two beautiful baby boys for mommy and daddy to love. she said she did and that she remembered when our youngest one was a new baby and she went to meet him at the hospital. i couldn’t believe she remembering. she was only 3 and a half at that point, but it was only a year ago.

i told her i love her and i gave her lots of kisses. i also told her that mommy likes it when she talks to me and tells me the things she’s thinking about. i also told her that i don’t ever want her to be scared to tell me anything. she smiled and gave me kisses too.


our baby was the first one up this morning. he slept until 7am. whoo hoo! i got up to get him and i brought him into bed with me. he just sat on my tummy and looked around and ‘talked’. after josh let the dog out he got back into bed too. the baby layed down and josh put his arm over the baby’s tummy. the baby gently rubbed josh’s arm.


our middle son was the last to wake up. he slept until about 7:30am. josh went up to get him. he was on top of all of his covers and totally soaked. josh changed his diaper and got him dressed. i went up and grabbed his sheets.


well, not really. i could stand to have no more bedwetting. and someday i will. and how much have i had since the kids moved in?

our daughter–1 time
our middle son–2 times
our baby–1 time

how many nights have they been here?–11

not too bad i guess.

and a very small price to pay for the fun we’ve been having and the love we feel. the fun we’ve had with the kids and the fun we’ve had together. the love we feel for the kids and the love we feel for eachother. having the kids here really has brought more love into our home. more consideration. more kindness. more gentleness.

week in review update

i sincerely apologize for mixing up some of our days last week. going to the park, daddy mowing, and uncle ben stopping by happened on wednesday. i also sincerely apologize for leaving out a very special evening we shared with some very special friends.

thursday night our good friends donny and jennifer came over. they brought us dinner, dessert, and some really fun gifts for the kids.

this was their second time seeing the kids in person. we weren’t sure if the kids would be friendly or shy, but by the end of the night, it seemed as if they had known donny and jennifer forever. we played, acted silly, really enjoyed just being together.

thanks donny and jennifer. you guys are the greatest!

maybe we could meet at a park sometime to play soccer and jump stick!

mother's day

today we begin our first day as a family. everything went really well yesterday with picking up the kids. and last night went really well too. getting our middle one to sleep proved to be quite the challenge, but it finally happened. and, it only took about an hour. poor little guy.

everything is going well this morning too. the kids are bright eyed and bushy tailed. breakfast is over, playtime has begun, and it’s only 8:15am. josh and i on the other hand are not bright eyed and bushy tailed, but we’re making it. i think it will take us a few days to get used to this schedule. i am usually up this early, but in the past i could just sit and veg on the couch if i wanted to. those days are gone, at least for the next 17 or so years!

on a more serious, emotional note, i know this is a sensitive day. i know there are mother’s who grieve the deaths of their children. i know there are mother’s who grieve never being able to birth children. i know there are mother’s grieving children they couldn’t care for and who are now being raised by foster or adoptive mothers. i know there are women who want to be mother’s and can’t conceive or give birth. i know there are people who go into hiding on this day so they don’t have to face this day.

i know last year i wondered if i’d ever celebrate mother’s day as a mother. i know my heart ached while waiting to see when and how God’s plan for motherhood for me would unfold. i know last year when our church celebrated all women on mother’s day, i was able to stand up because i am a daughter and sister and wife. but, i was wishing i could stand because i was a mother.

this year, all of the prayers for a family have been answered. i have children. tonight at church i will be a mother, celebrating mother’s day. and there i’ll stand with my children, our first time at church together.

the whole time we were trying to get pregnant i would think, “if i got pregnant this month, i could tell my family this month, and it would be my grandma’s birthday and what a great present to give her, to tell her she’s going to have a great-grandchild.” or, “if i got pregnant this month, i could tell my family this month, and it would be Christmas and what a great Christmas present for everyone.” i was never looking at pregnancy in terms of God giving the gift to me, just me giving the gift of our child to someone else in our family.

just recently it hit me. God has been orchestrating this beautiful gift for me. He could have chosen any time for us to bring our children home, but He chose now. He chose mother’s day.

i wonder how much it makes Him smile, seeing His plan come to fruition in my life. it makes me smile alot, knowing that out of all the paths He could have planned for me, He led me down this one.

thank You Lord for my children. help me to be a good mother to them.

happy mother’s day.