that’s where most of my thoughts are lost these days. actually, it’s been that way most of my adult life, but motherhood has only made it worse. oh yeah, josh blogged about our adoption stuff again. it’s not too often he does so, so you should stop by and check it out. he decided to change the kids names from c1, c2, and r. now they are amelia, wilbur, and orville, respectively. i think i like that better, so i am going to change them on here too. hope you can follow.

getting back to mid-stream, the kids and i went to a friend’s house yesterday to visit and play and have lunch. we had a great time and all the kids got along really well. before leaving, we had to make a potty stop. as you read in josh’s blog, wilbur is fully potty trained(not poopy trained though), but he won’t tell you when he has to go potty. and instead of him having to go in the van, i have him try before we get into the van. so, wilbur, orville and i head to the bathroom. wilbur performs on command and orville, watching with delight, reaches out and grabs the potty stream, mid-stream. um, yeah. it was gross to see him standing there with urine dripping from his hand, but the way it got on his hand was really funny.

and speaking of poopy training. total frustration! i really thought it would be the end of me, until i found this. now, i can’t say i am looking forward to the month or so it might take to make it all work out, but it will be much better for wilbur if we at least try it this way. please keep us, and him, in your prayers.

never mentioned this here before, mostly because i wasn’t comfortable doing so. there was an appeal filed on the permanent custody finding in our children’s case. the decision just came in this week and the PC finding was affirmed by the court. had it not been, our children’s biological parents would have been given some more time to try to get the kids back. we knew this wouldn’t happen, but we just had to wait for the decision to be made. so now we can move on with the adoption. the kids will likely go on adoptive status within the next month and then we’ll be able to get a court date to have the adoption legalized. we’re hoping by the end of the year, but if the courts are already booked, we might be looking at early next year. we are fine with that though because we knew the moment we were matched with our kids, way back in january, they’d be ours forever.

Bible study this week was great. it was really nice to be surrounded by other mom’s my age, with kids the ages of my kids. we are studying the book of Luke through an elizabeth george study, living with passion and purpose. we started and finished chapter 1 while we were there and then i was able to complete chapter 2 wednesday night. Luke is a book i know fairly well, but there’s a lot of stuff i have never picked up on before, but i am learning now. and i am grateful.

really, you should go read josh’s blog.

no news is good news

not much to report today. we had a busy, good day. yeah, more poopy troubles, but hey, hopefully that will be over in a little while. that is until we start training r. another busy day lined up for tomorrow. i get to start a Bible study at church, living with passion and purpose. i am really looking forward to it. it’s part of today’s mom, a group for mom’s with infants and/or preschoolers. i know of a couple friends that will be there, and my sister will be there as well. i am sure it will spark much inspiration. i feel like i have lost some of my passion for life over the past few months. taking on the role of motherhood the way i did took more out of me than i thought it would. but, i am on my way back up. this song has been key to me in that. it helps me spend time ‘alone’ with God, even with three noisy, silly children in the car. oh sorry, i mean mini-van.

i come to the garden alone
while the dew is still on the roses
and the voice i hear, falling on my ear
the Son of God discloses

there is none like You
no one else can touch my heart like You do
i could search for all eternity long
and find there is none like You

You speak and the sound of Your voice
is so sweet, the birds hush their singing
and the melody that You give to me
within my heart is singing

there is none like You
no one else can touch my heart like You do
i could search for all eternity long
and find there is none like You

i am so thankful i can still hear God’s voice in the midst of all of the noise in my life. and even though it’s good noise, it could still drown Him out. but if i do not continue to listen to Him and to follow Him, i will get nowhere. and if do not lean on Him while i parent, what kind of parent would i be? and being a parent is my highest calling, right now, and maybe always.

ahhh, the joys of parenting

Lord, please tell me tomorrow will be a better day!

not that today was horrible. we actually had a really nice morning. first our daughter, c1 had speech, and then we met some friends at the park to play and have lunch. (oh yeah, i just decided today that from now until we can share the kids names, our daughter will go by c1, our middle son c2, and the baby, r. someday it will be clear, but for now, that saves me from typing extra words.) then we went to the grocery store for a much needed potty break, and a few food odds and ends.

once at home, the boys went down for their naps, but not before c2 needed some poopy cleaned out of his underwear. this happened again before dinner and again after dinner, and again after that, right before bath time. at this point, we opted for the pull-ups so we can avoid poopy underwear throughout the overnight. anyone have any poopy training advice? we are all ears!

also before bath time, c1 was outside playing with special bubbles she got from her Sunday school teacher last night. dad needed to come in for a second, and i was getting the bath water ready. during this time, c1 decided to pour her bubbles out onto the front porch, and onto my shoes. yeah, my shoes. this landed her in time out, with no more bubble playing for the night. then i found out from josh he had told her not to pick the bubbles up while he was inside, because he didn’t want her to spill them. so, she deliberatley disobeyed that AND poured the bubbles on my shoes. yes, i know, it’s kind of funny. but, we are working with trying to teach appropriate behaviors here.

things could be worse, i am well aware of that. they could be setting fires and cussing and destroying our lives. but they are really good kids. and we are very blessed. and tomorrow will be a better day because every day is a better day. and, tomorrow is a preschool day which means if the boys will take a nap when i put them down for a nap, i could have two hours on my own. whoo hoo!

i’ve had 85 hits today so far, but only three comments on the post i posted last night.  who are you kirsten’s blog readers and where are you coming from??

"i will not be silent

i will not be quiet anymore
no, i will not be silent
i will not be quiet anymore”
david crowder band

i am back, and i am hoping it’s for good. every Sunday for the past few weeks, i have contemplated trying to blog every day. this always happens in church because that is the main place i am always reminded of who i am, why i am here. then monday hits, and the daily grind comes with it, and i lose sight of many things. but every day, God still speaks to me, still works in my life, and i feel like i need to share that more often. yes, i can share these things with those around me, and i do. but, i feel like i can broaden my horizons and share here too.

there is lots of inspiration behind all the words i share here. lots of inspiration behind this life i am living. the main inspiration is Jesus. i feel like i haven’t said that clearly enough before. i don’t know, maybe i have. but, sara groves, of course, can help me sum it up.

“the only thing that isn’t meaningless to me,
is Jesus Christ and the way He sets free.
this is all that i have, this is all that i am.
it’s all that i have, and it’s all that i am.”

and it’s that simple. and it’s because of grace. God’s grace. and by His grace, He has allowed me the privilege of motherhood. and there is nothing else in my life right now that can so easily show me how much i really need God’s grace.

i am hoping there are still a few of you out there who wonder how things here are going. i am pleased to tell you, things are going well. it’s been four months now, and we all really seem to be bonding. it feels like we are really a family.

our daughter, the eldest, just started preschool on wednesday. she loves it so far, but it’s only been two days. we started swimming lessons saturday, for our daughter and our middle son. our ‘baby’ is 19 months old now. he’s changed so much since we met him and he’s becoming a little boy now. we have days that we stay home all day, and they are actually good days.

it’s still hard sometimes, still an adjustment. but, it’s very worth it. it’s fun to watch the kids grow and change. and it’s fun to watch josh and i grow and change. we parent so similarly it’s crazy. it’s great and it makes things much easier. but sometimes i am amazed at how easily we make parenting decisions because we are really on the same page.

so as things continue to meld together, i will share about them here. and the kids say and do the craziest, and cutest things. i need to share those too. and God and i have huge, great moments together, and i want to share those as well.

and i hope you’re all still out there, and doing well, and still interested in stopping by and checking in on our lives.

and i hope you too are experiencing God’s grace.