"what can wash away my sin?

The Cross

-nothing but the blood of Jesus

what can make me whole again?

-nothing but the blood of Jesus

oh precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow

no other fount i know, nothing but the blood of Jesus”

i was at a women’s conference this weekend. i know, i know, you usually come home from these things “changed” or “wanting to change”. but, i have been wanting to change for some time now. i have been a Christian since i was 5. that’s 26 years now. on one hand, i praise the Lord that He saved me at such a young age. on the other, i wonder why has it taken so long, and so many attempts, to actually live like i’m saved. oh, i am not a bad person. i love my husband and my children. we have a nice home and nice cars. we are faithful at church, even serve there in multiple ways. we pay our bills. we pay our taxes. we shovel the sidewalk and even put the carts in the right place in the grocery store parking lot. i pray and sing in worship to my God, but my heart hasn’t chased after His in quite awhile.

so the conference broke me. no. not really. increased my desire, yes. but what broke me was the HUGE argument i had, about EVERYTHING, with my husband late last night. and as i stepped into the shower to get ready for bed, my heart just came spilling out to my God.

“what can wash away my sin?

-nothing but the blood of Jesus

what can make me whole again?

-nothing but the blood of Jesus

oh precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow,

no other fount i know, nothing but the blood of Jesus”

“oh, but Lord, i am so broken,” i sobbed. “i am so broken, so broken, so broken. i don’t love my husband the way i should. i don’t love my children the way i should. i don’t live for You the way i should. please help me.” and He so gently replied,

“come all ye who are weary

come all ye who are heavy laden

come all ye who are broken and suffering

and I will give you rest”

and over and over i sang it, “come all ye who are weary…” and for the first time ever, i realized, i have to come. i have to come to Him, and He will give me rest. all i have to do is simply come. He’s waiting. and for the first time, in a long time, i fell asleep last night with such peace. such a deep, sweet peace. the kind only Jesus can provide.

“this is all my hope and peace

-nothing but the blood of Jesus

this is all my righteousness

nothing but the blood of Jesus”

thank you Lord.