you're a grand ole' flag

amelia’s version in italics

you’re a grand old flag
you’re a high flying flag
and forever in peace may you wave (way)
you’re the emblem of
the land i love
the home of the free (freedom) and the brave

ev’ry heart beats (beeps) true
‘neath (for) the red, white and blue

da da da da da -she can’t remember the rest of the words. or, she’s frustrated with us for trying to explain to her that hearts beat, cars beep. too cute!

lines

orville has been known to make lines with his toys. and, well, anything else that he can put in a line.

you might remember this line from the beach back in june.

then there’s this one from father’s day lunch at pizza hut.

i know we have taken many more photos of his lines, but i can’t seem to find them right now. should have tagged them with ‘line’ when we downloaded them into iphoto, but i didn’t know then that they’d be as important to me as they are now.

when i picked orville up from school yesterday, his teacher told me he made an apple.

me-great! i’ll look at it when we get home.

teacher-no, no, i want you to look at it now. you have to tell me if this is how he is at home, if this is how he does things.

me-(with a huge smile on my face) oh my goodness! yes, this is him! he makes lines with everything!

can you believe it?!?! crazy!

then he made this hat at church last night. no lines anywhere in sight!

preschool starts again

and this time my baby started with it. yes, orville went to school today. he cried, and thankfully, i did not. the boys are both at the same school, but in different classes. wilbur and i dropped orville off first. he asked if wilbur would be staying with him and i reminded him, because we’ve been talking about it a ton, that wilbur would go to his own class. he just fell apart and said, “i going to be all alone.” how does a three and a half year old know how to communicate that?? anyway, i took wilbur to his class and after a minute or so, he politely told me it was time for me to go. what a happy/sad moment-when they don’t ‘need’ you anymore. on my way out of the building, i couldn’t hear orville crying anymore. all is well. here’s some pics from our big day!

an ache

wilbur-do babies have teeth?

me-no. they start with no teeth and then God makes their teeth grow as they grow bigger.

wilbur-how do they eat if they don’t have teeth?

me-well, the food gets mashed up for them. like, if you take a banana and smoosh it all up, a baby could eat that.

wilbur-but a baby can’t mash a banana.

me-no, their mom and dad can do that for them.

wilbur-did you do that for me when i was a baby?

me-(aching-inside my heart) no. i didn’t have you when you were a baby.

wilbur-well, where was i?

me-you were at mommy _______’s house.

wilbur-how did she know how to feed me?

me-someone told her.

wilbur-did she feed amelia that way too?

me-yes.

oh, the incredible ache of not knowing them then. the incredible ache of not holding them, feeding them, meeting those such basic human needs. the incredible ache of having to say, “no, it wasn’t me. i wasn’t there.” the incredible ache of the void that leaves for them. the void they don’t understand yet, but someday will. i know my children came to me at just the right time. i don’t question that at all. i know i wasn’t supposed to know them when they were born, before they had teeth, when they needed to eat mashed up bananas.

but, i really wish i did.

and it’s an ache that my heart will hold. likely for always.

yearbook yourself

okay, so this is hysterical. in a perfect world, i’d have time to make yearbook photos of all of my friends and family. but, i have a husband and three kids to take care of so…you’ll have to do it for yourselves. i did want to share a few of my favorites of josh and i though. after viewing, head to www.yearbookyourself.com and have a blast.

me in 1968-this is my favorite one.

me in 1976-the year i was born.

me in 1992

josh in 1974-yikes!

josh in 1976-kinda cute actually.

josh in 1996 -i think there really is a picture of him with hair like this.

be careful, this site is addicting. don’t say i didn’t warn you.

have fun!