fever? or a seizure?

amelia started feeling sick monday night. she felt warm, didn’t have much of an appetite, so we gave her some tylenol before bed. tuesday morning she woke up dizzy with a temp of 103.3. more tylenol. resting on the couch all day. and watching little girl movies, mary poppins and ariel’s beginning. her fever broke mid-day and was down to 99.2. then before bed, it shot back up to 102.3. she also developed a cough and stuffy nose. this morning her temp was 102.9 and she couldn’t stop coughing. i called the doctor. the doctor found nothing but a stuffy nose and a temp of 100. they suggested a decongestant, tylenol, and rest. but, what about the EEG?

talking with a friend yesterday, i wondered why this sickness came at this time. tuesday i was supposed to have lunch with josh. today i was supposed to have lunch with another friend and then watch the boys in a program at their school. tomorrow the EEG. and life as usual. “maybe God doesn’t want her to have the EEG on thursday,” my friend offered. “oh, maybe He doesn’t. maybe thursday isn’t the right time,” i said. why? hey, i don’t know. most of the time what He does in beyond me. that’s why He’s God. right?

maybe He wanted me to have some alone time with amelia. she’s such a joy when the boys aren’t around. i think because it’s not as loud and there’s no one else for me to have to share my time with. and maybe He wanted me to have something to do today because while i was taking amelia to the doctors, my friend that i was to have lunch with was getting induced a week before her baby is due. and maybe, well, who knows.

i called the neurologist’s office. they transferred me to an EEG tech. she said even if the fever is gone, and the stomach is fine, the coughing and stuffy nose will make it hard for amelia to rest and even fall asleep, to have the testing done. on top of that, she’ll need to be sleep deprived, but she needs to sleep so she can get better. i will call in a bit to reschedule the EEG, and i’ll let you know when it is. thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes.

here is ameila forcing a smile before bed monday night. yes, those are m&m’s on her plate. i let her have some halloween candy, even though her tummy hurt a little.

now for the explanation of the title of this post. amelia was with me yesterday when i picked the boys up from school. the teacher wilbur has for pre-k is the same one amelia had. she is the teacher who was with amelia when she had her first full seizure two years ago. she knows our family, and our story well. so when i picked wilbur up, this teacher just looked horrified.

me-“oh, he didn’t behave well did he?”

teacher-“no.”

me-“oh no, he didn’t?”

teacher-“oh, no wait, he was fine. but i think he told me something that maybe he wasn’t supposed to tell me?”

me-“what?”

teacher-“that amelia had a seizure.”

me-“no, oh my. no, she didn’t. she woke up with a fever.”

then i remembered that in the morning he was asking me what sissy had. “a seizure? a theater?” “no buddy, a fever. sissy has a fever. ”

here are the kids with our favorite teacher on amelia’s last day of pre-k(may 2007).

and finally, the boys had a trip to the dentist monday. wilbur has been before, but this was orville’s first time. wilbur went first and was so big and brave. he did such a great job! his great behavior showed his brother there was nothing to be afraid of. then orville did a great job too. he had a scared look on his face most of the time, but not a tear was shed.

they got to pick some treats when they were finished. and they made their mama proud. they also made me think that maybe we’re doing a pretty good job. maybe they had good behavior because we’re teaching them too. and maybe they weren’t scared because we’ve made them feel secure. just a thought.

epilepsy

it is with a heavy heart and a good dose of fear(though i want that human emotion to go away) that i write this post. on december 1st, 2006, amelia was diagnosed with epilepsy. she had seizures daily, and often multiple times a day, for about 3 months following her diagnosis. her medication kicked in and she has been seizure free since then. praise God!

when she was first diagnosed, we were told she’d need to be on the medication for two years and then she could be retested to see if the epileptic activity in her brain was gone. so this thursday, october 30th, she will have an EEG.

we’ve been through this before, two years ago. but, at that time had no idea what a life with epilepsy would be like. the seizures were horrendous and life as we knew it totally changed. i can’t tell you how many times we woke to a loud noise in the middle of the night to find amelia face down in the hallway, or on the bathroom floor. i can’t tell you how many times wilbur, 3 and a half at the time, had to yell for us because “sissy was shaking.” i can’t tell you how hard it was to drop her off at school in hopes that she’d be okay. and i can’t tell you how scared i am that we might have to go through it all again.

i am praying, and would like to ask you to join me. i want to pray for healing, but more importantly, for God’s will in my little girl’s life. if it’s His will she be healed, i’ll take it. if it’s His will she not be healed, i’ll take it. but, i’ll need even more prayer then. for strength and for peace.

here she is, december 1st 2006. and now, october 2008.

He was with us then. He is with us now. and He’ll be with us thursday.

“for God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but a spirit of power,
and of love,
and of sound mind.”
II timothy 1:17

“fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine.
when you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
when you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
for I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
isaiah 43:1-3

trick or treat

our neighborhood did it early this year. we went last night. uncle peter, cousin emily and cousin william joined us too. the weather was great! a little chilly, but no rain like we’d had for the past two years. the trick or treating continues today at grammy and gramps. they live in a small development where there aren’t a lot of kids so they need us. right?!?

out of the blue…

things will hit me. like, “oh yeah, remember to call the court and see if i can get the transcripts from our adoption hearing.” someone told me i could do that, i think that day. but, i keep forgetting.

or, “remember to call the hospitals where the kids were born and see if i can get a copy of their footprints.” i heard an adult adoptee talk about this. she was adopted from an orphange in el salvador and had a great life with her adoptive family. but, she always wished she had a copy of her baby footprints. a friend of hers who now works in the orphange from where she was adopted, was able to find her footprints. she sent them to her in the mail. can you imagine that joy?

last night in the shower(why do i always get emotional in the shower?), i was thinking about the footprints. then i thought, “maybe they have those hospital baby pictures of my kids too. oh how neat would that be? to have baby pictures of my children. oh, my children. what about having a baby picture for them to have? and what if there aren’t any? amelia’s earliest picture we have is from when she was three and a half. she’ll never be able to see herself as a baby. she’ll never know what she looked like before the age of three and a half.” and then came the tears. the sobbing. the heavy heart for their loss. for what they may never know.

amelia-3 and a half years old

wilbur-1 and a half years old

orville-2 months old

life through the eyes of a seven year old

amelia got a camera for her birthday. without a doubt her favorite gift. she takes pictures constantly. and she’ll take 5, or maybe even 10, of the same thing. like 10 shots of the living room ceiling light. here’s a little sampling of her first night and day with the camera. my personal favorite is at the end. enjoy.

our kids bookcase

another shot of our kids bookcase

another shot of our kids bookcase

me

me

me

my feet

with daddy at the birthday party

uncle ryan, girlfriend heather, and wilbur

cousin winston

uncle peter, winston’s dad

gramps

grammy

me again

me

me

the bottom part of my nightstand

wilbur and brinks, my gift from uncle nate.

yeah, this one if for real. almost seems too cheesy to be true.

but it is.