want me to do something for you?

when we get home, from anywhere, we wash our hands.  we have one bathroom, on the second floor, so the kids all head up there.  the first one up the stairs, gets to wash their hands first.

sometimes, someone needs to go to the bathroom as well as wash their hands.  i’ve asked that when that happens, that person wait and go last so the other kiddos don’t have to stand there waiting, just to wash their hands.

this morning after being out a while and returning home, wilbur was the first one up to the bathroom and only needed to wash his hands.  amelia was next, and then orville.  orville cut in front of amelia, which he often does, which makes her whine, which she often does.  “i’m telling,” she said, “because i have to go to the bathroom.”  “you have to wait,” said orville.  and that was the beginning of the argument.

amelia said ‘i’m telling’ over and over again.

orville said ‘i’m going first.’ ‘please don’t tell.’ and, ‘are you still telling?’ over and over again.

the last time amelia said she was telling on him, he said, “please don’t tell.  want me to do something for you?”

an attempt at bribery.  that didn’t work.  he still went before her.  and when she came downstairs i reminded her that she can wait to use the bathroom and let her brothers wash their hands first.

the big…35

35 years old.  me.

oh.  my.  word!

how did this happen?

35 seems like the real deal.  35 seems like an adult age.  but i don’t quite yet feel like an adult.

about 15 or so years ago, i was babysitting for a family whose mom was around 35.  they had a house, three kids, and a mini~van.  and she seemed so grown~up to me.  now i have a house, three kids, and a mini~van, but i don’t think i seem that grown~up.

this day has been coming, for 35 years in fact, and i’ve been approaching it from two camps.  camp dread and camp bold.

camp dread locks me into regret.  i’m 35.  i’m out of shape.  i bite my nails(oh the shame that comes with typing that).  i don’t have enough patience with my children.  i don’t have enough patience with my husband.  i don’t love any of them really, really well.  i’m not the best friend i could be to my best friend.  i lack self~confidence.  i’m too introverted.  i don’t always follow through with what i say i’m going to do(hence being out of shape and biting my nails).  i have lots of unfinished projects.  i’m fairly unorganized.  i’m not as involved as i should be at church, at school. i spend too much time with people who hurt me with their words and inaction.  yes, inaction.  and i let their words and inaction take a toll on my mind, my heart, and my joy.  i don’t celebrate enough, my salvation and what God has called me to do on this earth.  i don’t spend enough time in the Word.  i don’t always practice what i preach(especially with my children).  Jesus isn’t always my everything.

camp bold gives me freedom.  it reminds me that i am a child of God,  the creator of the universe.  my Heavenly Father made me.  made me.  knows me, inside and out.  knows my camp dread, and encourages me to come over to His side.  camp bold helps me approach 35 boldly.  i can’t go back and change anything that has happened before today.  but, i can start today, to make change.

i’m learning to speak up.  i’m learning to put boundaries in place.  and to keep them there.  i’m learning i don’t have to do what makes everyone else happy.  i am learning to do what needs to be done for my family and myself.  i’m learning to celebrate who i am, who God made me to be.  i’m learning that i can try again to get in shape and to stop biting my nails.  i can try again to get organized.  i can be more involved at church and at school.  i’m learning that it’s okay to admit my faults, boldly, openly.  i’m learning to embrace more the need to let go of myself and my tendency toward selfishness, and to more fully embrace Christ and the way He selflessly lived, and died.

and i’m coming to the understanding that 35 is good.  that much has been accomplished in these past 35 years.  and that every day i am who He has made me to be.

an early birthday present?

the kids have VBS this week, 6:30pm~9:00pm.  josh and i have date nights.

tonight we went to sam’s club and then red robin for dinner.  we weren’t craving it, or even really terribly hungry, but we hadn’t been there in a long time.  and we hadn’t had a date night in a long time(aside from last night).  and we don’t know when we’ll have a date night again(we’re not counting tomorrow night).

we sat down.  we ordered.  i wanted to make a quick trip to the bathroom.  on my way i noticed a group of men.  i thought, “that’s nice, they must work together and are just getting dinner at the end of the work day.”  and i then i noticed one of them looked like mac powell, from third day.  without hesitation, i stopped and asked. “are…”, that was all that came out, but i was thinking, “mac powell?  third day?”  and he said, “yes!”

i asked what they were doing.  “finishing our dinner,” mac replied.  “no, what are you doing in town?”  “oh,” he said, “we’re here for the alive festival.”

and i told them how we used to go to alive, every year.  and then we adopted three children and that stopped alive for a few years at least.  and he told me he and his wife have three biological children and two adopted, domestically.  and another band member, tai, just finalized a domestic adoption.

and we exchanged “nice to meet you’s”.  and they told me they’ll be in town again this fall for a concert.  and they suggested we get a baby~sitter and come to the show.  and i told them i was going to let my husband know they were there, but that he wouldn’t make a scene.

and i went to the bathroom.  and in the bathroom i thought, “i should probably ask if i can get a picture.”

and on my way back from the bathroom, i stopped and asked.  and they said sure.  and their manager asked if i could wait a minute so they could pay.  and of course i could do that, so i went back to my seat.

and while i was sitting, and feeling a little nervous, they paid for their dinner.  and some of the guys went to the bathroom.  and the manager went out to their transportation and grabbed a band photo that he brought back in and had them sign.  i watched, from my table, and thought i saw them signing something, but i didn’t want to assume.

and then the manager motioned for me to come over.  and i went.  and josh brought his phone to take a picture.  and the manager took his phone.  and josh got in the picture too.  and we said good~bye.  and they left.

and i couldn’t believe it.

and i still kind of can’t believe it.

they were so kind.  and they love Jesus.  and they’re adoptive dads, some of them.

amazing.

tonight was like an early birthday present.

two cars

on our way home from vacation Bible school last night…

me:  tomorrow morning, boys, we’re going to get new tires on the van while sis is at school.  then tomorrow night, before VBS, we’re dropping the van off at the car fix~it place to get the air conditioning fixed wednesday.

amelia:  will we still be able to go to Bible school tomorrow night?

me:  yes.  why wouldn’t we be able to go honey?

amelia:  because the van will be getting fixed.

me:  don’t we have another car?

amelia:  oh yeah, i forgot.

orville:  remember?  we have daddy’s car and our van.

me:  you mean, daddy’s car and mommy’s van?

orville:  no, daddy’s car and our van.