we have the kids write their spelling list words three times each, each night. this is usually an issue for our youngest. he loves to write them out of order, use what he calls fancy writing, write them in columns instead of rows, and a number of other things. all of this equals him misspelling most of the words, writing so sloppily he can’t read what he wrote, missing words, etc. most nights we have to remind him of the importance of just sitting down and writing each word three times in the same order his teacher has written them.
tonight was no exception. we had the sloppy, the fancy, the out of order, the whole deal. after the third time of asking him to sit down and handle his spelling appropriately, he started to whine and cry a little. i offered some consequences. he told me he was going to “play on daddy’s ipad tonight”.
“not if you don’t sit down and do your spelling the right way,” i said.
“well, daddy said i could,” he cried, “daddy promised.”
“well, if you don’t obey what i am asking you to do, i will let daddy know and daddy will say that ‘you should have listened to mommy and because you didn’t, you don’t get to play on the ipad,'” i told him.
“why would daddy do that?” he asked.
“because mommy and daddy are a team,” i said.
he burst into tears, “i want to be a part of your team, but i’m all by myself.”
i knelt down next to him and pulled him onto my lap. i explained that he is a part of our family team, but mommy and daddy are a part of the parenting team. our family team works together and makes some decisions together, but the parenting team works together to parent the children. he claimed to understand and got right back to work on his spelling.
sweet boy, wanting to be part of the team.