i’m struck with these thoughts almost every day.
who does this?
who says yes to adoption?
to forgoing trying to have his own?
his own offspring. to carry on his name. his looks. his lineage.
who says yes to a different color?
who says yes to one child?
who says yes to three children?
at one time?
the father of my children.
he said yes.
he says yes, every day.
yes to a different path, a different plan.
yes to a different color.
yes to older.
yes to more than one.
he skipped the middle of the night feedings and went straight into 3am seizures with a 5 year old.
he taught bike riding and soccer skills and is now teaching how to cope with generalized anxiety.
he disciplines, loves, encourages and then agonizes over a child with post traumatic stress disorder.
PTSD because of things that happened before his time with his kiddos, before he became the father.
and it breaks his heart.
and he loves.
and when God calls for more, he says yes.
yes to more children.
yes to more pain.
yes to more before he was the father.
because his Father orders his steps.
and he follows.
and they benefit.
they understand God adopting us because their daddy adopted them.
and they cherish him.
his not~so~little~anymore girl melts in his arms.
and his boys bask in his laughter and his strength.
and they watch him.
they study him.
so they can learn how to be a father.
so they can learn how to love.
when it’s painful.
when it’s hard.
when it’s confusing.
when it doesn’t look like what he thought it would look like.
and it is good.
and it is what our heavenly Father does for us.