• when you haven’t had an internet connection for several days

    we got our internet at the new house today.  i can’t believe i’m actually online on the computer! i have so much to say.  so many blog posts keep coming to mind.  i’ve thought about pulling up wordpress on my phone, but that would be so much work.  i don’t know how i’d ever type everything out that way.  and with 7 kids? i’m hoping to find some time over the next few days to sit down and write.  won’t be easy with those 7 kids.

  • when your friend cleans your new house

    she wanted to help out with the new house situation.  she offered to watch the kids-some of them, all of them, here, there, somewhere else.  i told her, and this is good but also kind of annoying, that anyone who watches the kids has to be approved by our foster care/adoption agency.  there wouldn’t be enough time to get her approved before we were moving. she asked if she could clean the house.  um, no.  thank you, but no.  i couldn’t let her do that.  and besides, it’s all brand new.  new floors, new appliances, new bathrooms.  no one has used any of it.  well, our kids have used the…

  • when your friends give you the keys to your new house

    saturday morning around 9, our friend bryan came over.  he stepped into the smallness and the chaos for the first time.  he helped us load up our van with kiddos and some random things.  he put a set of shelves in his trunk.  he followed us over to the new house. we got out of the van.  we started to unbuckle kids.  he handed us the keys.  the keys to our new house. i froze.  i told josh to take them because i just couldn’t.  i couldn’t because i can’t wrap my mind around this.  there will never be enough words to express my gratitude for this gift.  there will…

  • what i didn’t get to do for the other six

    there are so many things i get to do for the baby that i didn’t get to do for the other six children that live in my home.  but this one thing, oh my heart. this one thing, rocking this baby to sleep.   when our eyes lock.  when he reaches up to touch my face.  when i’m studying his features, trying to sear them into my memory.  when i’m wondering how long he’ll be with me.  i can feel my heart swelling with love and joy.  i can feel my heart starting to break. this is a love that is making me die to myself.  this is a love that…

  • when your friends buy you a house

    we’ve been praying for more space, for a bigger house.  we’ve believed that if God was calling us to have a large family, He’d provide a larger home.  we didn’t know how He’d do it, but we knew He would. i’ve spent months calling out loud, “Lord Jesus, i need more space.  i can’t function here with 7 children.  i know You have a house.  i know You have a plan.  i know You have a time.” i’ve called out so many times from this space, on my hands and knees between our buffet and our table, picking up food our almost two year old has thrown from his high…