this is selfish. this is materialistic. this is worldly. i want to admit all of that right from the start. so now that i have, here it is…
i want a big house.
i want one with a huge foyer, with a huge winding staircase, that goes up to the third floor. and when you go all the way up to the third floor, you can look down, over the railing, and see into the foyer.
i want a double staircase, a set of stairs in the foyer and one that leads from the kitchen to the upstairs.
i want a big kitchen. a huge one actually. one where we all five of us can hang out and no one is in the way.
i want a big pantry. no, make that a huge pantry. one big enough where pretty much everything can be stored.
i want a laundry room. i want it off of my kitchen. i want it to have tons of counter space so i can fold all of the laundry in there~not on my bed or my couch or my dining room table. let’s put a little tv in there too, so i can fold laundry while i watch hgtv. oh, and add a storage space with a laundry basket for each member of the family so their clean laundry can go in the baskets and they can easily retrieve them. and we need a space for the laundry shoot to empty into because i want a laundry shoot in the upstairs hallway.
i want a bedroom for each of my children, plus a guestroom or two.
i want a master bedroom with a master bathroom. and i want that bathroom to have a tub and a shower. a huge shower.
i want a living room and a dining room and a family room and a breakfast room.
i want an office for josh.
i want a craft room for me.
i want a finished basement, with a media area, and another bedroom and full bath.
and on the outside? a three car garage please. oh, make that four. and i want that garage on the back of the house somewhere so when i pull up my driveway i can drive around back to pull into my garage.
and the exterior? chunky columns, shingles, and some stone and porches. a porch across the front and a porch on the side with a side entry door and a rocking chair.
it’s big. and it’s beautiful. and it’s mine. and i love it. and everyone else loves it.
and it’s in my mind. and sometimes i wonder why i can’t have it. and sometimes i wonder if i ever will have it. and most times when it comes up, the Lord reminds me to focus on Him. and that what He provides for me, is perfect, for me.
my devotions this morning talk about deep yearnings. and it says God carefully crafted my longings and feelings of incompleteness so i would focus on Him. He carefully crafted my longings. it says that i shouldn’t try to bury or deny my feelings. i shouldn’t try to pacify them with possessions. my deepest longings will be fulfilled as i spend time in His presence.
and then it hit me.
i will have a big house one day.
“in My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.” john 14:2~4