broken and grateful

thanksgiving.  a day to celebrate all we have.  all we’ve been allowed to endure.  all that has been kept from us.  giving thanks continually, in all circumstances.  all.

i have friends celebrating this holiday battling cancer, battling with their loved ones who have cancer.  i have friends continuing to mourn the loss of loved ones~mothers, fathers, husbands, children.  memories hold them close, but to touch them, to hear their voices once again, to cook this holiday meal with them, is what they’d really like.

sara groves has a song, “what i thought i wanted”.  there are a couple lines in that song that bounce around in my head often as i look at my life, what i had hoped it would be and what it actually is.

i keep wanting You to be fair, but that’s not what You said
i want certain answers to these prayers, but that’s not what You said
what i thought i wanted, and what i got instead
leaves me broken and grateful

the things i am most thankful for are not things i had planned for myself.  i’m not living the life i imagined.  my family doesn’t look the way i thought it would.  in some ways it isn’t fair~to me or to them.  but God didn’t promise fair.

as i look at these faces, these little lives snuggled up on the couch this morning, i am broken and grateful.

as we moved our mounting pile of diapers into the garage last night, i felt broken and grateful.  the amount of lives that will be touched, by something as small as a diaper or a wipe or a pullup, is ast0unding to me.  something out of the brokenness of my life, of this world, brings people together, breaking them, to help others.

we started with this.

and grew to this. 2,220 diapers!

once it got to this point, josh said we needed to move them to the garage.

now we have 3,604 diapers in our garage!  praise the Lord!

broken and grateful.

happy thanksgiving.

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