i couldn’t get to sleep last night. my mind was racing with images of my life and what it stands for. “is it enough”, i thought? “Jesus gave His life. am i giving enough in return?” yes, i serve. yes, i tithe. yes, i pray. yes, i share my faith. but, is that enough? am i not supposed to give my life too? i was trying to come up with people i could run to for solace. there’s got to be someone else, at least one other person i know who wants to be sold out for the Lord. images of all my friends and family flashed through my mind. images of pastors. we’re all in the same boat, knowing how to live, but still holding back. someone or something is standing in our way. maybe many people or many things. i finally found someone who i can run to. someone who is sold out for the Lord, someone who is sold out even for me. someone who gave it all.
was He middle-class? living half of His life for God and the other for the world? attending church once, two times a week? leading worship or a small group? volunteering in the children’s department? volunteering in a homeless shelter or nursing home? shopping for the latest fashions? searching for that next promotion? putting into His mind images that would distract Him from His Father? listening to music or talk that is displeasing to His God? no, not Jesus.
this is me!
wanting it all, from both sides of the fence. yes, i know the Lord blesses us with jobs and homes and material possessions. but when does it get to be too much? when is enough, enough? when do we have enough from the world and when do we realize we don’t live enough for God? why do we always seek after that which will only leave us empty? i don’t want to be a middle-class Christian. how about you?