• year 17

    “we’d like you to meet our oldest son someday,” they said. “ok,” i replied. i barely knew them.  and i had no idea who he was. two years passed. and then we met, this son of theirs and i. he came to volunteer at a church jr. high event that i was leading.  and he was silly and goofy and obnoxious and cute and also a little mysterious.  and the kids loved him.  and he made me smile.  and he made me laugh.  but, he was seeing someone. i had just graduated from college.  i was looking for a full~time job.  i was contemplating moving to connecticut with my sister.…

  • today i’m 41

    in june 2014 a baby boy was born, a sibling to the kiddos we were fostering at the time. he was born on my birthday and we were open to having him placed with us if need be. the court placed him with relatives. we thought that part of the story was over, but six weeks later, he came to live with us. in june 2015 we were preparing to lose him. in march i lost my faith. but in june i got it back, even though we made a transition plan for him to leave us. we celebrated his first birthday, and my 39th, and the next day he…

  • our adoption day-8 years ago today

    on this day in 2007, we became a legal family. three kids. all at once. we thought we were done. then they got big. and God called us again. though i’m living this life daily, it’s hard to believe the act of faith and obedience that made the five of us a family, has turned us into a family of nine. psalm 113 praise the Lord! praise, o servants of the Lord,
 praise the name of the Lord! blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and forevermore! from the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised! the…

  • 13 years

    today is our 13th wedding anniversary.  normally, we’d have made plans to escape for a night or two, but this year things are very different.  we currently have seven children.  c.r.a.z.y. i turned on our wedding video this afternoon.  the three and a half year old who is living under our roof said, “i’m so happy.  i’m gonna get a josh when i get married, like you!”  be still my heart. the prayers offered on our behalf, the day we got married, are full of things that have actually happened over the past 13 years.  i can’t believe where we are.  i never would have imagined any of this the…

  • preparing for baby

    a baby. due 20 days from today. a baby. a brand new baby. in my house. in my arms. this is the craziest thing. i’ve visited newborn babies in the hospital. once i left the hospital with one when i was a social worker.  i took her to her foster mom. now i’m the foster mom getting the baby. i was supposed to have a baby.  it should have happened about 10-11 years ago.  at least that’s what we thought.  that’s when we started “trying”. i was supposed to be finished bearing my children by the time i was 30.  at least that’s what i thought.  i wasn’t supposed to…