• year 17

    “we’d like you to meet our oldest son someday,” they said. “ok,” i replied. i barely knew them.  and i had no idea who he was. two years passed. and then we met, this son of theirs and i. he came to volunteer at a church jr. high event that i was leading.  and he was silly and goofy and obnoxious and cute and also a little mysterious.  and the kids loved him.  and he made me smile.  and he made me laugh.  but, he was seeing someone. i had just graduated from college.  i was looking for a full~time job.  i was contemplating moving to connecticut with my sister.…

  • year 14

    14 years ago today we were married. 14 years and seven children later, we’re still here. still finding one another in the midst of the chaos and the noise. this has probably been our most difficult year. we’ve been pulled and stretched in ways we never expected. our faith has been challenged. our hearts have grown faint. our marriage has been tested. our integrity has been questioned. we’ve lost each other. we’ve found each other. we’ve laughed. we’ve cried. we’ve been great teammates. we’ve managed things on our own. we’ve yelled. we’ve whispered. we’ve been exhausted and overwhelmed. we’ve been amazed and full of joy. we still find each other…

  • the middle

    there’s a beginning-when they came. there’s an ending with two options- 1. they stay 2. they leave here in the in between time, it’s so hard. i’ve been listening to this song, the middle, by bebo norman. “i don’t wanna go home now stuck here in the middle alone now everybody’s singing their song now but i’m not ready for this i’m not trying to run away from this beautiful life i’ve been given i’m not looking for freedom maybe just a little meaning here in the middle alright, everybody says i’ll be alright everybody says it’s a good fight i’m not seeing it now” we took the baby this…

  • 13 years

    today is our 13th wedding anniversary.  normally, we’d have made plans to escape for a night or two, but this year things are very different.  we currently have seven children.  c.r.a.z.y. i turned on our wedding video this afternoon.  the three and a half year old who is living under our roof said, “i’m so happy.  i’m gonna get a josh when i get married, like you!”  be still my heart. the prayers offered on our behalf, the day we got married, are full of things that have actually happened over the past 13 years.  i can’t believe where we are.  i never would have imagined any of this the…

  • saying good-bye to my mini-van

    we’d been praying for a new van for months.  even before we knew we were bringing in three, possibly four more children, we were praying for a new van.  a new, big van. every morning i’d say to the Lord, “we need a new van.  i know You know that.  i trust that You already know what van we’ll get, where it is, when it will come to us.  we are trusting You to provide because we believe that You will.” He did bring us a new van last week so our last day with my van was last thursday.  i knew i’d be sad to let it go.  i…