brave

a few years ago, i chose a word for the year. i can’t remember what year it was. i can’t remember what word i chose. i didn’t choose a word for this year. but at the close of 2015, i feel a word has been chosen for me.

my word for 2015 is brave.

IMG_0697

i got a bracelet. i thought about a tatoo. a bracelet is sufficient for now.

at the start of 2015, i didn’t think i’d survive if we had to let our littles go.  but i got to the point where i knew i could trust God and surrender them if He called me to do that. i didn’t have to. they are still here. but i think the point is that God needed me to have my hands completely open.  and by His grace, He brought me to that place.

at any point in time, in any year, i never wanted to hear “it’s cancer”.  but i heard it.  and i’m still here. i faced it. by His grace, i walked right into it with the confidence that no matter what, my soul was secure.

IMG_8789

IMG_9009

IMG_9032

IMG_9485

IMG_9488

i won’t choose a word for this year. we still don’t know what will happen with the littles. we are still walking through the cancer journey. i think it’s better for me to see what this year holds, to look back at the end of 2016 and see what unfolded. to look back and see what word God has woven into my story.

image