• i’ve been here before

    monday august 8th josh found out he won’t have a job after the end of this year.  the bank where he works has been acquired by another bank and the new bank isn’t keeping his position. i’ve been here before. i’ve been here four times. in 2002, right after we celebrated our first wedding anniversary and bought our first home, josh lost his job. in 2006, right before our oldest three kiddos came to us, josh lost his job. in 2010-house, three kids, vehicles, dog-pretty comfy life, josh lost his job. i’ve been here before and here i go again. in 2016-house, vehicles, cancer recovery, nine kids-josh is losing his…

  • 13 years

    today is our 13th wedding anniversary.  normally, we’d have made plans to escape for a night or two, but this year things are very different.  we currently have seven children.  c.r.a.z.y. i turned on our wedding video this afternoon.  the three and a half year old who is living under our roof said, “i’m so happy.  i’m gonna get a josh when i get married, like you!”  be still my heart. the prayers offered on our behalf, the day we got married, are full of things that have actually happened over the past 13 years.  i can’t believe where we are.  i never would have imagined any of this the…

  • paid in full

    we paid our final van payment today.  i was told the title will come in the mail in about two weeks.  feels so strange to make a final payment on something that is a pretty big thing in our lives.  and to know that now we own it.  it is our van. we started paying for our van five years ago, when we “bought” it.  we were starting a family.  2 people to 5 people overnight.  we needed something suitable for carting around a family.  a van would do.  and i was quite proud to get a mini-van.  that meant i was becoming a mama.  and that, i really, really…

  • a new form of provision

    worried.  scared.  discouraged. the way people would describe how i must be feeling during our unemployment. relieved.  happy.  weight lifted from your shoulders.  secure. the way people currently describe how i must be feeling now that josh is once again employed. content.  provided for.  at peace.  thankful.  safe.  trusting.  excited. the way i would describe how i felt during our unemployment.  and, the way i would describe how i am feeling in this time of our new employment. josh started a new job march 28th. before josh lost his job last february, God provided.  when josh lost his job last february, God provided.  the new job, is quite simply, a…

  • passing judgment

    i’ve noticed it lately, rolling around facebook.  it’s a new poll question ~ “do you think people on welfare should have mandatory drug tests?”  it appears as though most people answer overwhelmingly “yes”. i am wondering how that ‘yes’ is determined.  everyone on welfare should be tested?  everyone?  how would we judge that?  are there certain behaviors we’d look for in an individual?  would it be based on where they live?  how they live?  if they’re single or married or divorced?  if they have children?  and if so, how many?  would they be judged as needing a drug test based on the color of their skin?  or their level of…