it is well

 

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surgery is today.  friday.  the 13th.  the surgeon said it doesn’t bother him to operate on friday the 13th and we don’t want to wait until after thanksgiving, so here we go.

i am having a total thyroidectomy, central lymph node dissection, and right modified lateral neck lymph node dissection.

basically, they are removing my whole thyroid and all of the lymph nodes in the central part of my neck as well as all of the lymph nodes on the right side of my neck.

4 1/2 hours of surgery time.  estimated.

tonight we had dinner with our two boys.  maddie was at a basketball game and the littles were settling in to their respite care.  praise God for amazing provision for them!

josh and max went to the bathroom and as soon as they left, mason asked me how i was doing regarding the surgery.  i told him i was feeling a little nervous and asked him how he was doing.  he said he was worried.

he’s worried that they’ll put me to sleep and i won’t wake up.

he’s worried i’ll die.

i told him the truth. the last thing he needs is his mom telling him she’ll be fine, and then she’s not.

i told him that, yes, i could die.  that they could put me to sleep and i may not wake up.

but i also told him that it is well with my soul.  because it is.

because of Jesus.

i told him there are some very, very important things in life.  things we need to be sure about.  but there is none more important than the salvation of our souls.  because when all is said and done, that’s all we have left.

i reminded him that Jesus came to save us.  He came and He died.  He died a very violent death, on our behalf.  and then three days later, He rose again.  He conquered hell.  He defeated death.

everyday, any moment, any breath, could be our last on this earth. now more than ever, as i’m heading into a complete unknown where my life feels like it’s literally in the hands of another, i am convinced that this is the only thing that matters.  the salvation of our souls through Jesus Christ.

i’m not guaranteed today.  i’m not guaranteed another moment with my husband, with my children, with my dearest friends, with my extended family.  but if my faith is in the death and resurrection of Jesus, i am guaranteed life forever.

and if my husband and children and friends and family also place their faith in Christ, they are guaranteed life forever too.  we’ll all get to be together.  forever.

what if i’m wrong?  i lose nothing.

what if i’m right?  i gain everything.

my life isn’t in the hands of another, it is held in the very hands of God.  and i know that no matter what comes my way, He won’t let go.  He’ll hold me while i’m here, and He’ll hold me once i’m with Him.

if you don’t know Jesus, don’t believe He is who He says He is, please reconsider.  please talk with someone who knows Him. talk with me.

He died for you. He loves you.

 

 

2 thoughts on “it is well

  1. Kirsten

    I’m not sure if you remember Stacey and I but we met you years ago through the Firestine family. My wife is childhood friends with Cindy Holman and she informed us about your challenge. I just wanted to say you will he in ours prayers. Your a very brave woman and I wish I could be as brave as you..maybe someday! God Bless you and your family. I can’t wait to read your blog when you are writing about your amazing recovery! God Bless.

  2. Kirsten, I am praying that your surgery goes well, that you and your family sense the peace and presence of Jesus throughout it all.

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