life is like…

a snow globe.

josh and i went to see narnia saturday night. not sure that has much to do with this post, but the snow globe thought came to me on the ride home. josh appeared to be in deep thought. and even though most times i ask him what he’s thinking he says, “nothing”, i asked anyway. actually, i asked if he was in his “nothing box”. he said, “no, it’s just that there’s a lot going on right now.” and he’s right. there’s been a lot going on.

a lot that we can’t wrap our minds around. a lot we haven’t planned for or ever imagined would happen. a lot that continually reminds me that when we surrender to God, He does as He pleases. and, He makes us okay with that.those thoughts brought to mind the image of a snow globe. josh and i standing inside. God shaking it up and letting the snowflakes fall all around us. He chooses each one. He chooses when they fall. and where they fall. some at a distance. some nearby. some that smack us in the face.

some snowflakes i think fall in pieces. and not all of the pieces fall at the same time. we get a little piece here and there. and eventually they add up to a beautiful snowflake. i guess they are like snowflake puzzles. God starts them with one piece and adds to them as He sees fit. one day their full image takes shape.

Psalm 16 has been close to josh’s heart for some time now. from the time he pointed it out to me, it started to work it’s way into my heart too.
“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup;
You have made my lot secure.
the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely i have a delightful inheritance.”
Psalm 16:5&6

the portion, cup, and boundary lines are my snowflakes. they fall in pleasant places and give me delightful inheritance because they are chosen by God. chosen for a specific time and place. chosen for me.right now in my life the snow globe seems to be pretty shaken up. God is keeping it snowy, but still revealing clearly the identity of each snowflake. some are personal, the ones that smack me in the face. some are distant, happening in the lives of others around me, but still directly having impact on me. here are some of my snowflakes.

our children…yes, our children. well, at least we think and hope they are our children. we were matched january 3rd. i started a post right away, but little things came up that we wanted looked into before we said yes, so that post got put on hold. but now it’s been so long, it makes sense to post even though we don’t have all of the answers. long, long story short, we’ve been matched with a sibling group of three, all under the age of 5. there are some medical issues in their family that are of some concern so the agency is looking into testing and evaluations. once that is all figured out, we feel like we’ll be able to know whether to say yes to them, or no. we are thinking it will be yes, but we can’t cross that bridge until we come to it. people ask if we’re frustrated with the amount of time it’s taking to get answers, to get our children. we’re not frustrated, but we are anxious. anxious to become mom and dad and to start our family. our patience with this entire situation, from realizing our infertility to now, has been a total gift from God. one we never even asked for. maybe some of you prayed for patience for us. we are so appreciative! so…i apologize for not posting about our children sooner. i promise to be better about it!

my job…
most of you know i am a nanny. it’s been almost three years now. i can’t believe it! i am having a great time at work and really trying to cherish my time there. most of you also know it’s been my dream to be a stay at home mom. that means once we say yes, and our children come home, i will no longer be a nanny. though i am so excited for my dream to become reality, the reality of not being with the children i nanny, is very hard for me. this means for me, and the family i work for, that someone has to be found to take my place. and, she has been found! she is a wonderful Christian lady who has raised two children already so she knows what it takes and what it’s like to be home on a day-to-day basis. her heart for the Lord and for family is very evident which makes her a perfect fit. and, we are going to get to work together for at least a month before i leave which is comforting to both of us. the kids have a chance to bond with her while i am still here. i will be able to leave feeling more peace about leaving.

josh’s job…
is ending and he is having to find a new one. he just got an offer today and after we talk it over, he’ll likely accept. he has posted more about this on his blog so i’ll limit what i write about it here. we’re just amazed at God’s timing here, giving josh a new job before the kids come home. one with a higher salary and more responsibility. something josh is wanting and that will benefit our family.

ben & ashley…
got married january 7th. josh and i were both in the wedding and had such a wonderful time. it’s strange watching someone in your family who is younger than you get married. you wonder if they’ll have a hard time adjusting to being man and wife, but then you remember you made it. and we are so excited to have ashley as an official member of the family. she has been around josh’s family longer than i have!

ryan & and jackie…
are getting married. not until next year, but they’ve been engaged for a couple of months now. talk about strange! ryan is 22 years old now, but i still think of him as 7. it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he is actually old enough to be someone’s husband. it’s going to be a lot of fun watching them plan for their special day. and then it’s over, all of the winkelmann kids will be married!

and speaking of winkelmann kids…
peter & kimmie…
are having a baby. this isn’t new news either, but i haven’t posted about yet. they are due in may. may 24th or may 13th are the proposed dates. we’ll have to wait to see what happens though. kimmie is still working, but not comfortably. she’s having quite a bit of swelling in the legs and ankles. i guess if that’s as bad as it’s been or gets, she’s having it pretty easy.
i can’t wait to be an aunt and hope to be able to make a short trip to new mexico when the baby is born. i want to see this new baby when it is really new. waiting till they come home in august just won’t cut it. 2 months isn’t new anymore! depending upon what happens with our children, i might not make it down there, but that’s the plan so far.

and now spring is coming. 60’s by the end the week. i wonder if that means our snow will start to clear up, the puzzle will start to come together, and the newness of a job change and children coming will begin to bud in our lives. we’ll keep you posted.

4 Comments

  • mmostovic

    Kirsten,

    Thanks for sharing. I have been wondering where things are…

    You and Josh must be learning a lot in this process. I can’t wait until you can look back (many years from now) and see significant growth during a painful time.

    Waiting with you,
    Melanie

  • Becks & Lee

    Kir!

    It’s been a long time! Thanks for the update! It is nice to know what is going on in your life :o) It gives me better direction in how to be praying for you! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

    Love, Lee

  • Josh

    Lots of stuff going on. I’m glad to be going through it with you. We’ll get through and it will be even clearer how God has and is working in us.

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