this morning was hard. the now 17 month old was up too early, shortly followed by his 5 year old brother. and i could not stop thinking about all that is on our plate right now. we need to move into a larger home, but we still have to finish up some projects in our current home. and we need to sell it. well, first we need to list it. we need to secure loan money. we need a bigger van. in a month possibly. we are going to a wedding in maine in june and there is talk about taking a vacation immediately following. along with finding a new van? and a bigger home? and oh yeah, a baby is coming. a. baby. um, a baby. to us. to our home. to our home where we hardly fit now. a. baby.
the kids and i were on our way to one of their visits. they wanted to listen to the frozen soundtrack. i needed a bit of Jesus music. i turned on the radio. “i am, holding on to You. i am, holding on to You. in the middle of the storm, i am holding on, i am.” just what i needed to hear. and then it got to this part. “love like this, oh my God to find! i am overwhelmed what a joy divine! love like this sets our hearts on fire! this is my Resurrection Song, this is my Hallelujah Come, this is why it’s to You i run. there’s no space that His love can’t reach, there’s no place that we can’t find peace, there’s no end to Amazing Grace.”
“this is why it’s to YOU i run”
my voice started to fade, the tears started to fall. all of the thinking, planning, wondering-He already knows. i am amazed that i can have the faith it takes to bring in 3, likely 4, more children, but i can be quickly overwhelmed by everything else that needs to happen. that will happen because God will make it happen. and do i believe that? i do, but sometimes i forget.
i turned my mind to run straight to Jesus. to lay it all down, to give it all to Him.
i run to Him because there is nowhere else i could go to find love, peace, Amazing Grace.
i am-david crowder