she cried

our daughter cried yesterday. she has done that before, many times actually. like when we say no to something she wants to do or say. or when i go to the store and leave her home with daddy and her brothers. or when she’s at choir at church and she misses us, even though we are at church too. or when she wants to play outside after school and it’s 15 below 0 and i tell her it’s too cold. but yesterday was different. she cried when she got in trouble. she has gotten in trouble many times before too. and she’s always put in time-out. or a handful of times we’ve sent her to her room. and two times she’s had to stand in the corner. but yesterday it seemed as if something had broken. this kind of hard shell that she came tucked inside of, had finally cracked. and you’re wondering, “what was the offense?” and really, it wasn’t a huge deal. she was coloring and decided to color on her face and her hands, with marker. again, not a huge deal. but, she is 5, so she does know better. and she admitted that. she said flat out she did it because she wanted to. it wasn’t an accident, it was on purpose. so she sat in time-out for 5 minutes. then she had to clean the marker off of her hands. then she had to clean it off of her face. but before that could happen, daddy came home for lunch and i suggested she show him what she did. he displayed a look of disappointment, told her she is too big to do that and she knows better. and then it happened. the lower lip puffed up and the tears started to roll. we sent her on her way to finish cleaning up and you know what we did? gave eachother a high-five and a big hug. she finally cried. that means that after almost nine months of living here, she finally cares if we disapprove of a negative behavior. she finally feels so much of a connection with us that it upsets her to see disappointment from us. and it felt good, because we are getting somewhere. she finally finished cleaning up her face and i scooped her up and gave her a big hug and the tears started to roll again. as i held her tight i told her we love her very much and we were sorry she was upset, but what she did wasn’t good behavior and we weren’t happy about it. and i told her that part of our job as her mommy and daddy is to teach her right from wrong, and to help her choose the right. and i told her, that she’s not allowed to use markers for awhile.


  • Margaret

    I’m so glad you’re blogging again!

    I think that’s a wonderful sign. It shows she has empathy and that she cares how you feel. She knows she can do things to make you proud or upset you. That’s good. That’s progress!

  • Starfish

    What an accomplishment! I remember myself how horrible it felt to disappoint my parents. It was worse than any punishment they gave me. And you know what, it still happens to me today!

    You done good!

  • Courtney Clark

    Beautiful!!! Alyssa forwarded your page onto me and I am sitting here laughing and welling up at your stories and updates. Congratulations to you all. I know this has been an amazing journey. Thanks for sharing.

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