tears

oh, how badly i wish i felt ready to post a photo of the kids. you have to see their precious faces to fully get how great this is. and tonight, as i looked into the eyes of our 17 month old, the greatness of it all hit me. as i was diapering and lotioning him after his bath, and he was saying “da da da da da da da”, my eyes filled with tears. i held back crying because i didn’t want to scare him, but inside was a full cry. my heart was crying out, “my God, look what You have given me.”

and i feel so unworthy. i feel like i have no business to be raising these children. i feel like i am the last one on earth who deserves to be their mother.

but, it’s God’s story, not mine. and He has called me to this life. and i am in awe.

and so in my frail human state, i continue to cry out for His leading. for His wisdom. for His love to be my love.

i continue to trust that He will take my failings as a mother and make them into something beautiful.

i continue with tears as i sing,

“You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
and i am Yours
what does that make me?”
david crowder band

One Comment

  • Mom

    Kirsten, my glorious daughter-in-law, Proverbs 31:28 & 29 says Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but YOU’VE outclassed them all!” We are all unworthy of God’s awesome love and grace, but he gives it anyway. Just like you give to your children. And THAT….makes you glorious. I love you!

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