when we’re told the plan is for them to leave

we had a meeting.

we were told the plan is for them to leave.

and to be separated.

one to one parent, three to the other.

it’s the news i never wanted to hear.  the news i’ve prayed i would never hear.

yet, i heard it. and it hurt.

exactly three months ago today i wrote about being in the middle of things and now we may be close to the end.

for the baby, the end could come as early as tuesday.

my heart is broken.  my heart is heavy.

every single thing we do with him over these next few days, could be for the last time.

playing with him.

taking him for walks.

feeding him.

changing his diaper.

bathing him.

talking to him.

singing him to sleep.

this is the sacrifice i didn’t want to make.

this is the pain i didn’t want to feel.

we told our big kids last night.

they cried so loudly we had to tell them to quiet down.

that’s how great the potential pain of him leaving is.

it is loud.



  • Katy

    Oh Kirsten. I don’t have any words. Just tears with you. Love you. Praying for you, for Josh, for all 7 of those sweet, precious kiddos.

  • Patti Lindstrom

    We are praying. Asking God to cover you, bring the peace that passes all understanding. Praying that the imprints you made in them would go deep and penetrate their souls.

    Patti, Todd, Will

  • Melody Redman

    Our faith comes into maturity when we are placed in situations where we must trust, obey and believe God. This is where your precious hearts are today. Be still in the quiet and be conscience of Omnipotent Arms encircling your family. During some of the most uncertain, painful and frightening moments of my journey with my Father, I have relied on His strength to carry me through because I was unable to manage on my own. You cannot carry this burden, however your Father is aware and has already predetermined outcomes that are to the glory of His name.

    There is a plan for all of the lives of these beloved children that you have been privileged to nurture and love. Like Abraham you are being called to submit beneath an authority beyond your control. Through the pain….trust….on your knees….worship. I have been before the LORD on my face in agony over my family and situations totally out of my control. He has NEVER forsaken me and He will not leave you or your children.

    You have been called to such a time as this. You have been specifically equipped. I love you and I am praying. In a blink of an eye we will be celebrating around the Throne of Grace as over-comers by the blood of the Lamb and by the Word of our testimony.

    Please be encouraged.
    All of my Love,

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