you decide

amelia, 5, puts her babydoll down for a nap. orville, 2, gets the babydoll up from her nap. amelia yells, loudly, at orville to put the baby down. she yells multiple times. orville begins to cry. mom steps in. the babydoll is amelia’s so mom tells orville to leave the baby alone. orville cries more. mom walks away. amelia tells orville it’s okay and he can go ahead and play with the baby.  mom tells amelia she has to put the babydoll away. she can’t yell no at orville, make him cry, and then tell him it’s okay to go ahead and do what she was just yelling at him about.

what would you do?

3 Comments

  • Margaret

    She’s so young, but did/does Amelia have any parentified behaviors? Like trying to direct/take care of Wilbur or Orville? Maybe she was trying to regain control over the cans and cannots of the situation. Or do you think she just felt badly because Wilbur was crying?

    I think you did the right thing. She can’t contradict you and herself in that way — it will undermine your role as the parent and be confusing for Wilbur and Orville.

  • starfish

    Hmmm…well she seemed to show remorse for yelling at Orville, and that’s a good thing… Really, I say it’s her doll and if she decided it was okay to let him have it afterall, then that’s fine.

  • Lori

    Tricky situation. It seems possible that in their minds there is a lot more at hand than normal sibling conflict.

    Did their foster home have other children? Keep in mind that Amelia may not be used to having her own “stuff” Not so long ago if she lost site of a baby doll the said baby doll might be gone to her forever.

    I don`t condone yelling, but she seems really frustrated to control the situation. When my kids use a mean, rude or disrespectful voice I make them repeat what they have to say in a nice voice. I would have stopped both kids in their tracks and repeated the entire scene guiding them through a more appropriate way to handle the situation.

    I could not tell from your post, is this an isolated story or a situation that happens often. If it happens a lot it sounds like Orville needs his own baby.

    Of course you have to take any advice you get with a grain of salt and decide what is best for YOUR family.

    L

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